Hey Royals!
Perfectionissm looks harmless at first. It even looks admirable. You tell yourself, “I’m just trying to get it right”, that you’re aiming for excellence, and that you’re simply doing your best. Somewhere along the line, that harmless desire becomes a chain, a tight one! It wraps around your decisions, your confidence, your creativity. And you start noticing the symptoms: delayed projects, constant self-criticism, and fear of starting anything unless you’re already sure it’ll be perfect.
And suddenly, you begin Googling things like How to stop being a perfectionist, hoping the answer will finally set you free.
The truth? Perfectionism isn’t about high standards; it is fear. Fear dressed in productivity and disguised as “excellence.” It is fear wrapped up in routines you have normalised. To truly understand how to stop being a perfectionist, you need to understand what drives the perfectionism: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being seen as “not enough.”
It’s not the desire to produce good work that holds you back; it’s the terror of producing imperfect work.
This is why this article matters. I’m not here to tell you to lower your standards, as that wouldn’t be helpful. What I will show you are the small but powerful mindset and behaviour shifts that helped real humans, like you and me, break out of the perfectionist loop. So if you’re ready to understand how to stop being a perfectionist, stay with me. I promise you’ll see yourself in these stories, and more importantly, you’ll see the way out.
10 Real Lessons on How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
1. Start Ugly on Purpose
A strange but powerful trick. Did you notice the misspelling of “Perfectionism” at the beginning of this piece? Did it stop you from reading this piece? You may have criticised me a little, lol.
Sometimes the best way to learn how to stop being a perfectionist is to intentionally create something “ugly.”
A messy paragraph. A rough sketch. A voice note that sounds like you were half-asleep.
Why?
Because the moment you let yourself produce something imperfect and survive it, your brain realises nothing terrible happens. You break the fear loop.
I once wrote a blog post in 11 minutes to challenge myself. It wasn’t great. But it was done. And that “done” gave me more momentum than 10 days of overthinking ever did.
2. Give Yourself Deadlines That Don’t Move
A perfectionist’s favourite lie is:
“I’ll finish once it feels ready.”
That “once” becomes:
next week → next month → never.
If you want to learn how to stop being a perfectionist, you need deadlines that don’t shift. Deadlines make your brain choose progress over polish.
Remember: nothing ever feels “ready” inside a perfectionist mind. You must decide it’s ready.
3. Celebrate Finished Over Flawless
A life-changing mindset:
Finishing is a skill.
Perfecting is a delay.
People always notice a finished work more than a flawless work. Truth is, most people don’t even see the flaws you obsess over.
If you want to understand how to stop being a perfectionist, start celebrating completion. Train your brain to associate “done” with satisfaction instead of panic.
Perfection doesn’t build momentum. Completion does.
4. Let Someone See Your Work Before You’re Ready
This one stings.
But it’s powerful.
Share your draft before you think it’s “good enough.”
Allow someone to see the rough version.
Why?
Because one of the deepest roots of perfectionism is shame. Shame of being judged. Shame of being “less than ideal.”
When you let someone see the imperfect version and nothing terrible happens, you rewire the fear. And suddenly, how to stop being a perfectionist feels more doable.
5. Do the Task for 5 Minutes… No More
The perfectionist brain loves making tasks feel enormous.
So, shrink the task.
Commit to 5 minutes.
Just 5.
Five minutes removes the pressure.
Five minutes lowers your emotional resistance.
Five minutes makes it feel harmless instead of “high stakes.”
This is one of the simplest and most effective techniques when learning how to stop being a perfectionist because it pushes you into motion without triggering anxiety.
6. Create “Good Enough” Rules
Make rules for yourself, like:
- “The first draft must be messy.”
- “Emails must be under 5 minutes.”
- “I’m allowed only one revision.”
Sounds odd?
But these rules force your brain to stop equating quality with endless tweaking.
To deeply understand how to stop being a perfectionist, you must redefine “good enough.” It’s not laziness, it’s strategy.
7. Notice Your Perfectionism Triggers
Perfectionism doesn’t hit all areas of life equally.
You might be chill about household chores but obsessive about your career, or vice versa.
Pause and identify:
- When does perfectionism hit the hardest?
- What situations spike your anxiety?
- Who are you trying to impress or avoid disappointing?
Awareness is step one in how to stop being a perfectionist, because you can’t change a habit you don’t see.
8. Accept That Mistakes Are Data, Not Your Identity
Perfectionists take mistakes personally.
They don’t see errors as information.
They see errors as evidence.
“See? I’m not good enough.”
“That’s why I shouldn’t try.”
But mistakes are just data.
They help you adjust. Improve. Course-correct.
If you really want to master how to stop being a perfectionist, you need to detach your worth from your performance. You’re a human, not a product.
9. Lower the Stakes on Everyday Decisions
Perfectionists overthink EVERYTHING.
“What’s the best outfit?”
“What’s the best caption?”
“What’s the best place to sit?”
“What’s the best time to start?”
All these tiny decisions drain your mental energy.
To practice how to stop being a perfectionist, lower the stakes on the small stuff. Be quick to decide. Let the everyday things be simple. Save your energy for what truly matters.
10. Keep a Record of Things You Completed Imperfectly
This is one of my favourite exercises.
Create a “Done Imperfectly” list.
Write down:
- tasks you completed
- projects you shipped
- The work you posted
- decisions you made without overthinking
Review this list weekly.
It trains your brain to value progress. It gives you evidence that your imperfect efforts are enough, meaningful, and effective.
This list serves as your gentle proof that you’re learning to stop being a perfectionist, step by step.
CONCLUSION
Here’s the truth nobody tells perfectionists:
You don’t need to become fearless.
You don’t need to stop caring about quality all of a sudden.
You don’t need to erase your standards.
You need to stop letting fear run your life.
When you decide to explore how to stop being a perfectionist, you’re really choosing to trust yourself again. To trust that your work is valuable. That your efforts matter. That your messy attempts still carry meaning.
Perfectionism doesn’t make you better; it makes you smaller. Progress makes you stronger.
Action makes you wiser.
And the best version of you isn’t the perfect one, it’s the one who finally starts.
Are you a recovering perfectionist, too? Share one area of your life where perfectionism holds you back. Let’s break the cycle together.
