Hey Royals,
I will be peeling a large onion.
Some wounds don’t bleed where people can see them.
They hide in reactions you don’t understand, fears you cannot explain, and patterns you keep repeating even when you promise yourself you’ll do better.
For a long time, I didn’t realise how much childhood follows us into adulthood. I thought growth automatically erased pain. I believed maturity meant moving on.
But healing and moving on are not the same thing.
For many, childhood quietly writes the script for adulthood.
Low self-esteem, inferiority, and self-denial become familiar companions.
They smile where they feel small.
They accept less than they deserve.
And the hardest part?
They don’t realise these beliefs were learned.
Childhood trauma doesn’t always come from dramatic events. Sometimes it comes from emotional neglect, harsh words, instability, comparison, or growing up in environments where you felt unseen or unsafe.
Healing begins the moment you realise your present struggles may have roots in your past, not flaws in your character.
Here are gentle but powerful steps toward healing.
1. Acknowledge That What Happened Affected You
Healing starts with honesty.
Many people downplay their childhood experiences because “others had it worse.”
But pain is not a competition.
If something influences how you see yourself, how you trust others, or how you handle emotions, it matters.
Acknowledging impact is not blaming the past. It is understanding yourself.
You cannot heal what you refuse to admit.
2. Stop Blaming Yourself for Survival Patterns
Children adapt to survive.
People-pleasing, emotional withdrawal, perfectionism, fear of rejection, or constant self-doubt were once protective mechanisms.
What helped you survive then may now limit you.
Instead of asking,
“What is wrong with me?”
begin asking, “What was I trying to protect myself from?”
Self-compassion replaces shame when you understand this.
3. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem Intentionally
Low self-esteem doesn’t appear overnight.
It grows slowly from repeated spoken or unspoken messages that make you feel inadequate.
Healing requires rewriting those messages.
Celebrate small wins. Speak kindly to yourself. Surround yourself with environments that affirm growth rather than reinforce insecurity.
Confidence is not arrogance. It is learning to see yourself clearly again.
4. Allow Yourself to Feel What You Suppressed
Many survivors learned early that emotions were unsafe.
So you became strong, quiet, independent, and detached.
But unexpressed emotions do not disappear; they wait.
Healing means allowing sadness, anger, grief, or confusion to exist without judgment. Feeling does not make you weak. It makes you human.
Emotions processed today stop controlling tomorrow.
5. Challenge the Inferiority Narrative
An inferiority complex convinces you that everyone else belongs, while you are merely trying to catch up.
You compare constantly.
You doubt compliments.
You expect rejection before acceptance.
But these thoughts are echoes, not truths.
Begin questioning negative self-talk.
Replace automatic criticism with curiosity.
Ask yourself: Who taught me to see myself this way?
Often, the voice is old.
Healing permits you to choose a new one
6. Reconnect With Your Inner Child
Inside every adult is a younger version still waiting to feel safe.
Healing sometimes looks like giving yourself what you lacked: encouragement, patience, playfulness, rest, or reassurance.
Speak to yourself gently.
Do things that bring joy without justification.
You are not being childish.
You are caring for the child who grew up too fast.
7. Forgive Your Parents
This is a personal choice to release resentment so it no longer holds power over your present.
Some parents did the best they could with the tools, awareness, and emotional capacity they had at the time.
That understanding may offer context, but it does not cancel the impact of what you experienced.
Forgiveness does not require immediate reconciliation, restored closeness, or continued access.
It requires creating space for your own peace and growth.
8. Seek Safe Support Systems
Healing rarely happens in isolation.
Trusted friendships, mentors, faith communities, or professional therapy can provide perspectives and a sense of safety you may not have experienced before.
Healthy relationships teach your nervous system that connection can feel secure, not threatening.
You deserve spaces where you are understood, not endured.
Conclusion
Dear Royals,
Healing from childhood trauma is not about erasing the past.
It is about freeing your present from its control.
You are not flawed because of what happened to you.
You adapted the best way you knew how at the time.
And now, you are learning new ways to live, love, and see yourself.
The child who once felt small is not gone.
They are simply waiting for the adult you have become to finally say:
You are safe now.
And sometimes, healing begins the moment you believe that.
